the lemon generation.

been watching Freaks and Geeks lately, that old tv show from the late 90's
for some reason it makes me nostalgic for a life i didnt even have.
does that make any sense?
its like deja vu
except for nostalgia.

is it possible to be homesick for a place that doesnt exist?

closer to godliness than cleanliness could ever hope to be

'fucked-up' and 'family' both start with 'f' for good reason
yet i feel right at home
maybe family is only family if everyone else is as fucked up as you are.

have you ever wanted to disappear and join a monastery-
go out and preach on manic street

fuck is my favorite word.
it really applies to everything.

salinger and pynchon

been in a shy world lately. though there have been thoughts picking at my mind like it was a lock.

intellectual property be damned.

death is a circle
that keeps closing in on all my friends
hit the brakes
dodge the bends
"gum drops and chimney tops"
this is the minutia of city flats
i want to paint the sun on my wings
than you can have it back
hell is having your choice of anyone or anything
this band that plays just for you
singing "fuck you" turnpike blues
spiritual mediums just scratching
at dull sentimental backs
declawed memory itches
break your leg in the generational gap
wells vomit childhood wishes
the midas touch in reverse
and could it get worse
the crabapple doesnt fall far from the tree
tin man syndrome
you got big dreams, watch me break them
and for everything ive seen
and all ive had
god must be a
mean lonely man

a note from sleep

good luck is:

sleeping on tile floors
grudges and hands we hold on to
hours of showers till the heat wont pour anymore
stalled cars looking out into the rain
the sleep that comes moments before the sun freezes our eyes open
hugs that remind you of the fuck that lies beneath them
boxers who fight for sweat
kids who love art but never talk about it
heirs to misfortune
warm naps in the afternoon
free love with no inflation
perfect imperrfections
hippies on motorcycles
pulling over the car for no reason
scars
city skies
black outs on laterns full of fireflies
the opposite of clarity
puddles of sunshine

i just dont want to die without a few scars.

the best way to waste your life is by taking notes
the easiest way to avoid living is to just watch.
look for details.
report.
dont participate.

jesse lacey put it simply when he wrote "life is a test and i get bad marks"

fuck the grade.
flunk the test.
cc me when you finally get the memo.