you are the wonder that keeps the stars apart (tidbits written on napkins and found in pockets over the last year).

weakends and springbrakes: in this town the hometeam mascot is the shapeshifter. you can take your president and your wars out in the desert. i am content with my kings and queens in nevada.

everyone is an open wounds. everywhere is a masquerade.

lets split this life- dont think i can take a whole one on my own. the inside of my head is a time machine. and it only goes to the past. always making different choices. taking chances/not taking chances. late night blurs vs. the clarity of morning light. never too sure who is gonna show up or whos gonna call in sick- i wouldnt trust your love farther than i could throw it. there are people asleep in my house right now but none of them are you.

dear collector,
why must i be a spade or a diamond. i just want to be kept in your hand and bet on in dark rooms. i want to be a heart. i dont want to fold. my insides beat through the air.- i am in a dark room off a bright yellow hallway. how many times can i sing along to the same song. you are plymouth rock. you are the 4 minute mile.

been raising hell but now that its grown up and moved out. i dont know what to do with myself.

new years. every single one is worse than the last. like a parade of dreams breaking and marching out of my life, trampling one another. she is the wonder that keeps the stars apart. i cant breathe when i step into the shower, i tasted the blood off of the walls. sat on the ledge and watched the water bounce off of the tiles until it turned cold. goosebumps on my skin are tiny armies of hope fighting in my heart. she thinks there is nothing between us but air. that maybe we are just insects crashing on this big rock spinning through the galaxy. i am losing my nerve.

not sure how much time ive wasted. one day i just stopped keeping track.

"you think i am the devil. but only because i have lived in hell. i want to get out".

the truth is even if im shining, im just old light beamed out ages ago.

i have been typecast.
a square peg forever trying to squeeze into round holes.
sometimes I drink to forget,
but mostly i write so i never will.
cursed myself down and out for all time.
i am always leaving you high and dry.
i am always leaving you out in the cold.
because i am regular.
minus all of this.
dont try and argue with manics.
its not worth your breath.
something about this year has got me crawling back inside my shell.
its ok to breakdown.
its ok to get out of your mind.
dont sleep or eat for days on end- im forgetful when it comes to comfort and consistency. sometimes i am just letting you shine.
even with all the greens and honey in these eyes.
growing up became growing old.
ive learned to keep myself quiet.
to be a stow away in this life.
to not make waves but sometimes scream and fight over nothing so great at all.
ive been paranoid that friends would kill me,
i know ive thought of killing some of then.
maybe only in my head.
"You are my sweetest downfall
I loved you first
Beneath the stars came fallin' on our heads
But they're just old light, they're just old light"
the sun is coming up.
the truth about lonliness is youre only as good as the company you keep.
everyone is forever saying 'i miss the way things were' and missing old versions of eachother.
were still here. all of us.
brush your finger tips on my eyelids like you did in the glory days.
i promise ill make it back.
you are all too sweet.
and i dont deserve it.
i never did.

there is nothing between us but air

you know the funny thing about the super bowl is that vendors need to be prepared to have t-shirts should either team win after the game. so they make up thousands and thousands of shirts saying both teams won. then whichever team doesnt win they ship those shirts off as donations to third world countries. the strangest part being that you know that someone in these countries that only knows one fact about the united states: that the bears won the 2007 super bowl.
a fact which is ofcourse wrong.
kind of strange.

i actually wanted to see you today. and tommorrow.

just trying to slip through the cracks

watched garden state in the dark tonight. we all create worlds for ourselves so we can forget theirs. ive been working on mine since i was 10.