wait, johnny marr is in fucking modest mouse?

mayday mayday. there has been a fire in the engine room. failure lights are up everywhere.
me and you just like always.
lit like leading actors. bright lights hitting your cheekbones in an otherwise darkened room.
this is disaster.
you smoke that last one down until it burns your fingers.
there is a penny spinning the table and twenty dollars broken like everything else in here.
basement apartments feel like funeral homes sometimes.
took the train just like the old days.
my old days that is. the good old days.
the stops are of comfort to me as they count me down.
when it flips from red to purple i know im getting close.
drove home from the train today. sweating out a hoody in august just like the good days.
scary.
i am anonymous to the cars as i drive back to the house i grew up in, cutting down the same streets ive ridden down for almost 20 years- slowing only when i see the house a block before mine, that signifies my victory lap.
i run up the stairs and throw myself on the bed.
i can only think of before this began and after it ends.
my last year.
i cant ever get my head around right now.
"red red wine" is playing on the radio.
i saw a good band last night and thought of good friends-
i only wish i would let my head go to these places more.
im getting sick of saying im sorry.
"i hate you, but have a good night."

adventure is in your head. the capacity for it, that is.

some people drink too much
talk too much
think too much
smile too much
ive got em all beat
crickets- but not in this city
and certainly not jiminy
its glowing with the heat of lightbulbs going off overheads
been staying up straight for the last week due to 6am flights and ideas
tommorrow is no different
wrote a long piece that hazily remembered tears going from left eye into right.. sideways on a tile floor
and another full of expectations and demands....
sitting here unhindered by spellcheck or sentence structure
i am not of the head to press the submit button on either of these
they are derivitive and self indulgent-
not interested in championing misery, at least right now
instead i was thinking of how there is a spark of something great inside of almost every single person i have met in my entire life and that maybe it should be our task to blow on it and guard it, feed it ideas as dry wood- watch it burn.
instead of blowing it out.
easier said than done...
goodnight moon.
goodnight loves.
i hope to be back to my same miserable self in the morning. until then spark and travel safely in your head.