S.orry's A.nd N.o's T.end to I.nfuriate

i am happy that you realize love still exists.
it is dark and needs to be dusted off.
maybe i am only happy in this realization in the early a.m.s in the light of this computer screen.
maybe i am not happy at all.
im not even too sure myself at times.
why would i ever want my moods to be stabilized.
sometimes you have to break a heart to unbreak your own.
i bleieve in falling in love midsleep.
i believe in dreaming about you every chance i get.
and yeah november spawned a monster, but so did whatever month were in right now.
cursing leap years cos without them ill be done sooner.
if i had a penny to my name id throw it down a wishing well.
im best when im making things worse.
lets go out tonight and make some bad decisions.
i miss old friends. truly.
but actually they are still here, i just stopped taking notice
you got my voicemail
"leave a message im out..."
having the time of my life.
love.

if you get the chance to put the pieces back together tonight, ill be waiting at the other end of this phone

toast to noone. who cares. i dont care what they say about this. it is magic- not smoke and mirrors. it is real. every drop of sweat and every milemarker. remember me, or i hope you dont. i scream out my window at this sleeping city. my throat hurts and my hair smells like smoke. do you ever get the feeling that your insides and your outsides dont really go together?
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oh yeah im sorry for almost breaking your toe
and my heart
and that promise
and your dream
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the only thing i am sure of is- however you think of me is wrong.

we'll tell sincere lies all night long

this is all neither here nor there, i dont know why i try to convince you of what you already know, even if its something you barely and reluctantly admit. it's still true and you still know it, however you like to justify it.

Sometimes i wonder if you justify it in your head the same way you justify it with your mouth.