rushmore

They say any port in a storm right? I’ll keep the light on and pray for the wind to pick up.

impulse writer.

i feel like all three companions of dorothy combined in one- the heartless, brainless, gutless mess. when we talk you like to throw my name in there, even though its just us. i dont know how to take that. but this gutless, brainless, heartless mess feels lucky to even come across your mind. so thanks. thats it. good night. im not going to sleep..... but ill be quiet.

(p.s.ithinkiwoulddrivethroughthenighttoyou)

friends are the third most important thing to you next to your heartbeat and love...

a friend told me today:

Do you know the replacements song "they're blind". Its probably my favorite lyric ever about being on XXXX XXXXXX.

"The things you hold dearly are scoffed at and yearly judged once and then cast aside.

'Cause they're blind, they hold you too close to the light
And I see what they only might if they'd learn but they're letting you burn 'cos they're blind."

headlikeaholeblackareyoursoleidratherdiethangiveyoucontrol.

to you (unfinished, off the top of my head)

It all started with some friends
a kick drum inside my ribs
Hes preaching electric into a microphone stand
Raise your red plastic cup
And Turn the laughter up
We fell asleep in the grass on the summer fest days
You'd never guess I'm still trying to get my head screwed on straight
All us believers still believe
Everytime we sing it loud
Someone shoulda thrown us in a cell and swallowed the key
Somebody shoulda told us to leave em be
They'll tell you everything about last night that you forget
I'm not ready for things to change
I miss you missing me in the good old days
Got stuck in the cell of you and me
I guess it still beat solitary
-----Worry worry
Put my head in such a f(l)urry
Freckle freckle
What makes you so special-------
One of these days yr gonna wake up in heaven
Laugh about that night you got four stitches above your eye
Never trust a friend that wouldn't bleed for you
Never believe in anyone who wouldn't drive through the night
(To you)
They never tell you in school you'll feel so alone
Wake me up again when were in the same time zone
The way I'd take a cornfield over a coast
Mulitply me times what you adore most
There were nights between yellow lines
When I confessed to you riding shotgun asleep under purple skies
They say
You get what you get
Well we Got lost in the middle of nowhere And you almost quit
Tonight Come together
Come apart
You can get lonely when u
Only read the charts
Called everybody I knew in this life
Can we get it together just for tonite

I miss old friends and "play it agains"
Please Send my love,
to everyone above

she

was the saddest girl to ever hold a martini.

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

Been reading bret ellis lately.

i can almost see it. elvis costello watching you at my window.

one red. one blue.

lenses or pills im not quite sure as of late.

Sometimes I think I need you more than I should.
The elephant in the room is going off inside my chest.

Icicles in my fingertips.
Always feeling like we are just waiting on the world to end.
I wish this was easier.
I'm terrified you'll regret your best intentions.
"You are the reason behind my smile".

I've never grown up.
Stuck inside the palm of a fortune teller.
I'd tell you the future of everything.
If I only had a clue.

Real or imaginary.
Sometimes I'm not sure who is real and who is realistic.
Sometimes I feel each and every mile in my veins.

Counting the tiles on the bathroom floor.
Recounts of every attempt to quiet the world for just a little bit.
What would your mom say about the mess you (really) are?

Hide and go seek sickness (30 day detox).
What's wrong is the only thing that has ever felt right.

I (don't) wanna
I w(on't)ill let myself sometimes
Pull a hood up and turn the volume up on the headphones
Think of what it'd be like not to think at all

A funeral built for two
shudders in the thunder
lightning in our words
(you make my hair stand on end)

sabotage my head (it is an inside job)
ransom (letters) in bottles
letters sealed with broken hearts and tears

we're the dreamers that never win
make believe your way out of this
this isn't over by a longshot.

it's like a car crash in reverse.
or maybe even in slow motion
either way you don't see me coming.
but you always know the way fear tastes in your throat.

It's the end of the summer and I'm feeling (self) destructive.

Unsupervised and unwise
push it to the edge.
feel the rush of almost giving in.

I'm only at my best when I'm at my worst

Hot and cold flashes
indecisive choices
the red or blue pill
let's take them all and really escape reality.

let's hang out in the bottom of a well
rescue MEmories.

i am in love with the city that raised me.

seriously.

it messes with my head every time i am away.

i miss that place. the way eyes look and hugs from friends feel there.

boomerang my head. back to the city i grew up in.